heres a joke i been toying around with. might of heard some of it before. let me know what you think.
so what do you think? do you think we should legalize prostitution? the thing is, if we make it a legitiment profession, then all the rest of the bullshit comes with it. do you think DeVry will have courses that offer this?
"Ms Anderson, after doing a full evaluation of your personality, values, and ethics. we have determined you're most suited to be a nickel and dime whore. please get in the line up with all the other women."
Once they do all their course load, can they write off breast implants and other cosmetic procedures? thanks uncle sam or who ever the canadian equivilent is!
Not only that, but once we get these street walkers into the real world, not only will they have to pay taxes, but the prices on a blowjob will increase along with the flucuation of the market. in the broadest sense of the word, we did just have sex.
Along with all of that non-sense. let me ask you this. do you think they will have unions? the scary part about that is, what happens when they go on strike? can you imagine the picketing signs? "wont bend over frontwards until you bend backwards." "Can't suck cock until we have the talk." or worse case scenrio... maybe the collapse of the entire canadian infrastructure. and do you know why? because no body wants to fuck a scab!
There are no bragging rights that go long with fucking a scab. I was once part of this beer league, and my friend wanted to name us, "Off in the bathroom." I know what you're thinking. But if we lost a game, which we did. And the other team came to the bar to celebrate their victory, which they did. They wouldn't be able to shout, "Guess who we beat? We just beat..." Now you get it. hehehe, Merry Christmas everyone!
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Friday, December 18, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
My Love/Hate Relationship With Commercials ;)
Ever since growing up I've watched television. Early Saturday morning cartoons were special. I'd watch anything that I knew a little about. Bug's Bunny and Tweety was probably my favorite. Like technology, I evolved. Bigger shows, brighter ideas. My personality forever changing alongside the dynamics of today's nano-second attention span. And after I spent years of my life, jumping from one hole to the next. I began to question myself. Are the commercials interrupting the television show? Or is it vice versa?
I recently suffered through the worst weekend of my entire life. Because of my war-hero brother, and his family. *more on that later. But we sat down and were watching some crummy tv show, and on came a commercial. Selling medication, or some shitbag or something just as important to the 3% of television viewers that sit there on their plastic covered couches (bought because of another commercial that probably started with the words, "Hey, do you shit yourself while watching television"?). And two of my nieces felt bad. I laughed. And they proceded to get up on their high-horses and talk down to me. I told them it was all manipulation, and that they were suckers. I know personally that they wouldn't hear me out, and I'd be wasting my breath if I tried to justify my words. More on them later.
Don't get me wrong, making a tv show is hard enough. When you take into account the actors, directors, audio personel, producers, cameramen (or is it camera person now?), writers, editors, script supervisors. You have all these people on one show. You have to time it out just right that after something dramatic was said, or happened, or about to be revealed, you are hanging off the edge of your seat. Then you get to watch those lovely commercial ads! And it's not just one group of people doing this. It's everywhere. Almost on every channel. Dar!
They are going to give you just enough information to make you feel sad. Or make you feel happy! Excited! Either way, what they show you, how they show you, what they say is going to raise you awareness to whatever they are selling. Because if you have money to watch TV, you obvious have money to spend it on yourself.
I think Sam Kinison said it best when he said, 'AAAAHHHHHHH'. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0q4o58pKwA. He makes a good point and its something to think about.
It's all bullshit and it's bad for ya! George Carlin said that. We're all being manipulated. And there's nothing you can do about it. Sure you could protest! But where do you stop? Television? Movies? Radio? Newspapers? And there's a lot of people out there that think these levels of media aren't being tweaked just a little bit? It's not what they say. It's what they leave out.
Now here's why I love commercials. They are all full-bore, 100% behind their product. And why shouldn't they be? They are trying to selling you something that you don't really need. Can you imagine a television ad that was only luke-warm?
"Hey. This is Eli Manning, buy this Hyundai. or not. You could probably find a other car that might suit you a little bit better. but if you dont want to spend a lot of money. i'd suggest Hyundai. Or not. Kia makes some nice cars. They couldn't afford me though. I love my brother."
It might be funny, but I love the conviction behind some of these actors faces. Personally I look for commercial actors I've seen in other commercials. And if they've been in the business long enough, I feel as though they've grown up with me. I mean you get to watch them buy all kinds of stuff. Or get married and have kids. And go to subway.
I like commercials that I find on Youtube. World's funniest. Or Banned Commercials. They push the envelope, and take everyone who has eyes (their prime demographic) just a little out of their comfort zone. I love that! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gz-sC-vSIXk (Lojo, this one's for you). Maybe they are special because I don't get to see them every day, unless glad freshair maker, pop-corn popper. BTW, if you're a guy and you dress like anyone in a beer commercial, STOP IT! If you're a girl, and you're doing the exact same thing, Call me!
One thing I have noticed, you wont ever see a stupid woman in a commercial, unless all the main characters are women. And between the white couple and black couple, its always the white couple that need help. Because God-forbid, these commercials are nothing if not race-sensitive (Feel guilty the other 11 months that aren't February White Devils). One thing I do hate, is how they are trying to cast 'real' people in their commercials. Now I'm not talking about "non-actors", I'm speaking about fat girls, balding guys, and people with goofy teeth. I say, "Hey all you people out there inside my parent's television set! If I wanted to see fat, ugly people I'd go to Wal-mart."
It's all bullshit and it's bad for you. Just know that whenever you watch Extreme Make-Over, Home Edition. And you have to watch that show with a box of tissues because it's all a big stroke job, and you'll need it. Until next time, keep in touch, and Don't forget to miss me!
I recently suffered through the worst weekend of my entire life. Because of my war-hero brother, and his family. *more on that later. But we sat down and were watching some crummy tv show, and on came a commercial. Selling medication, or some shitbag or something just as important to the 3% of television viewers that sit there on their plastic covered couches (bought because of another commercial that probably started with the words, "Hey, do you shit yourself while watching television"?). And two of my nieces felt bad. I laughed. And they proceded to get up on their high-horses and talk down to me. I told them it was all manipulation, and that they were suckers. I know personally that they wouldn't hear me out, and I'd be wasting my breath if I tried to justify my words. More on them later.
Don't get me wrong, making a tv show is hard enough. When you take into account the actors, directors, audio personel, producers, cameramen (or is it camera person now?), writers, editors, script supervisors. You have all these people on one show. You have to time it out just right that after something dramatic was said, or happened, or about to be revealed, you are hanging off the edge of your seat. Then you get to watch those lovely commercial ads! And it's not just one group of people doing this. It's everywhere. Almost on every channel. Dar!
They are going to give you just enough information to make you feel sad. Or make you feel happy! Excited! Either way, what they show you, how they show you, what they say is going to raise you awareness to whatever they are selling. Because if you have money to watch TV, you obvious have money to spend it on yourself.
I think Sam Kinison said it best when he said, 'AAAAHHHHHHH'. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0q4o58pKwA. He makes a good point and its something to think about.
It's all bullshit and it's bad for ya! George Carlin said that. We're all being manipulated. And there's nothing you can do about it. Sure you could protest! But where do you stop? Television? Movies? Radio? Newspapers? And there's a lot of people out there that think these levels of media aren't being tweaked just a little bit? It's not what they say. It's what they leave out.
Now here's why I love commercials. They are all full-bore, 100% behind their product. And why shouldn't they be? They are trying to selling you something that you don't really need. Can you imagine a television ad that was only luke-warm?
"Hey. This is Eli Manning, buy this Hyundai. or not. You could probably find a other car that might suit you a little bit better. but if you dont want to spend a lot of money. i'd suggest Hyundai. Or not. Kia makes some nice cars. They couldn't afford me though. I love my brother."
It might be funny, but I love the conviction behind some of these actors faces. Personally I look for commercial actors I've seen in other commercials. And if they've been in the business long enough, I feel as though they've grown up with me. I mean you get to watch them buy all kinds of stuff. Or get married and have kids. And go to subway.
I like commercials that I find on Youtube. World's funniest. Or Banned Commercials. They push the envelope, and take everyone who has eyes (their prime demographic) just a little out of their comfort zone. I love that! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gz-sC-vSIXk (Lojo, this one's for you). Maybe they are special because I don't get to see them every day, unless glad freshair maker, pop-corn popper. BTW, if you're a guy and you dress like anyone in a beer commercial, STOP IT! If you're a girl, and you're doing the exact same thing, Call me!
One thing I have noticed, you wont ever see a stupid woman in a commercial, unless all the main characters are women. And between the white couple and black couple, its always the white couple that need help. Because God-forbid, these commercials are nothing if not race-sensitive (Feel guilty the other 11 months that aren't February White Devils). One thing I do hate, is how they are trying to cast 'real' people in their commercials. Now I'm not talking about "non-actors", I'm speaking about fat girls, balding guys, and people with goofy teeth. I say, "Hey all you people out there inside my parent's television set! If I wanted to see fat, ugly people I'd go to Wal-mart."
It's all bullshit and it's bad for you. Just know that whenever you watch Extreme Make-Over, Home Edition. And you have to watch that show with a box of tissues because it's all a big stroke job, and you'll need it. Until next time, keep in touch, and Don't forget to miss me!
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