Guys named Chad

Alright, now among my travels I have met many different people, who have several different backgrounds, and different life experiences. Drug dealers, pimps, pushers, arsonists, felony rapists, car jackers, hookers, druggies, and guys named Chad. But I realized this week, I have not met anyone whose had an abortion. Isn't that weird?

They say its all different when you're forced with an unexpected abortion. Maybe you're a teenager. Or maybe you've been raped, and later find out you're pregnant. Maybe you were at the laundromat and you sat on someone's squirt-shirt and you decided to- whatever. Either way you're expecting and changes are a-coming.

And does this not only affect your entire way of life. But it also changes the fathers. And your parents, and siblings, etc. It changes your career aspirations, relationships, possibly some schooling.

Now even if some of us weren't planned, as our parents would have wished, but we all still made it out of the womb. Unscathed? Let's hope so. Let's let the character building begin.

Now, I think its time for me to be a "jerk". Haha, I love that word. Only because it's such a stereotypical 90's teenager girl thing to say about a boy whose not treating her fairly. "What a jerk!" Priceless. Okay, so along with my lifelong bachelorhood, and my committment to aspiring to a level of singledom that surpasses all others.

Now I have met a ton of single mothers. Hundreds if not dozens. Now what that tells me is that for every single mother out there, there is a deadbeat dad, who's walking around enjoying the splendors of his singlehood, and fucking everything that will let him. Literally consequence free. All while one woman, who has been left with a life-changing miracle.

Let's give him the benefit of the doubt. He tried to make things work, maybe let this baby be the beacon of the entire relationship. No matter the fighting, or weeklong silent treatments. He stuck it out, until the mother got fed up and gave him the boot.

Now that means with every relationship she pursues, or enters after that moment, she now has 'excess baggage.' If that's what you wanna call it. It's very much like an STD. Once she has it, she has it for life. But she also has to change her priorities in her life to take care of this child. The fruit of her loins. (sidenote: 'new baby smell' does smell a lot like a womb-juice.)

Okay, lets not get too off course. You would be surprised how, at my age, its getting more and more difficult to meet other single people, without children. Maybe to grab a cup of coffee. Or take a roadtrip for the weekend. Or even to meet a girl my age, who has been a, "Good girl". I hate saying that because having a child shouldn't be a burden. It should be a miracle. Not a mistake.

So now if I do meet some cute, single mother. Maybe she's the woman of my dreams. But she has kids. So now I'm forced to choose between a woman of lesser 'caliber', or else help raise some other asshole's kid. Does this seem fair?

Okay fuck it. Now I'm going to rant off once again about a concept I've been working on for about 4 to 5 years. Now I know the being a bachelor isn't about having a lot of sex with random strangers, and only being tied down in the most literal sense of the word.

There's no sex in heaven because sex is the only reason for procreation. I just realized this a few months back, and I felt kinda bummed out. Ideally, that means you should have sex as much, and as often as you can in this life. One of the drawbacks to sex is STD's, VD's (I think they are the same thing, but since I'm not a doctor, I really dont have a whole lot invested in this concept), and pregnancy.

Now I am a true believer that most people shouldn't be allowed to have children. Don't stop reading. I think every male at the age of puberty should be sterilized. And only once in a fully-committed, monogamous relationship should they be considered for conception and the male would be de-sterilized. Now this wouldn't be a government run program. Because they are nothing but a bunch of puppets for the mega-rich. More on that later.

Now this would clear up any, and all possible paternity suits. Sexual diseases would still exist. But no unwanted babies. I've known a lot of people who just shouldn't be parents. They are unbalanced, crazy, negligent, addicted to drugs/alcohol/dane cook, etc. Maybe they are just racist. Doesn't matter.

The way it is now a days, is everyone can have kids, and a lot of people who want children, can't. Maybe without all the foster homes, or orphanages, abortion clinics, paternity suits, maternity suits, child support cases, we'd have more money to invest in cures for other diseases. Aids, cancer, genital warts, guys named Chad, or any other ambisexual names for guys (courtney, lindsay, ashley, jody, elliot, leigh, cameron, chris, jesse, drew, kelly, morgan, taylor, stacey, reilly, randy) Maybe together we can eliminate all these names from our children's future. And why would anyone give their daughter a masculine boy's name like Leslie? DUDE! Come on. Get your heads out of your ass.

Sex is a sacred act. I understand this. Why don't more guys understand this? It's shit when you think about it. No glove, no love. Girls, we expect more from you. It's all up to you. Protect yourself, and everyone around you. Because when it comes down to it, you are the gatekeepers of sex. It's that decision that should be on your shoulders, not your cankles. Write that down.

Now that that's out of my system. I really should get going. Until next time, Don't forget to miss me.