As you can probably tell by now, I do not rehearse my blog beforehand. I sit at my laptop and let my thoughts and ideas flow. I understand that I do know some of my jokes get lost in translation.
Alright. Let's do this. Now that I've been out in Ontario for close to a year now. I like to think I'm moving in the right direction... "life-wise." I guess you could put it. I've done quite of bit of me work. Gotten into shape. Eatting properly. Cut way back on my drinking. Aside from being socially abstinant, I enjoy my lifestyle.
Am I a social butterfly? I am not sure about that. I know I thrive on new and unusual situations. I like talking with strangers. I'm always looking for something new. But I do feel like I'm missing out on having a constant social companion. A wingman.
If television has taught me anything, it's that true wingmen have grew up together. Try making new male friends without coming off as a total fruit seems a little bit weird. So what's next? Find female friends, and assimilate into their 'male' friends, and claim them as my own.
Hm... but what kind of guy is 'best friends' with a girl? I used to be best friends with a couple girls. But how do you leave the feelings from growing. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFWGOKuFyjk But I do know a lot of guys that develop feelings for those girls willing to put up with their emotional baggage. "We're only friends."
How emasculating. For the guy I mean. To be put in the friend zone. This means you are no longer a dating option. Like a girlfriend... or a lamp. Now I admit that I talk with girls. Do I want to bang all of them? Short answer... Yes.
Would I? That's a whole different issue altogether. (That's a whole different issue). Anybody? Hello? I hope at least somebody got that. Moving on. Everyone has their issues. Everyone has their own prespectives, priorities, and goals. Most differ from mine.
I try my hardest to cut all ties from bullshit. Now this is mean, degrading, and hurtful. Only because we've been raised to be in touch with our sensitive side. Crying men who call up their female friends in middle of the night because someone cut them off in traffic and called them a dirty name. Fuck them.
This is fun. Go and ruin somebody's day. Using nothing but words. The rule is don't go for the obvious. "You're fat." Let's set the scenerio up. You're in line at a grocery store. And you notice a woman in front of you with toothpaste, a bag of apples, and a cucumber. You say to her, "Hey, you must be single." And she naturally says, "how did you know?" "Because you're ugly." I know it lacks creativity. But it sounds like you're about to make some psychological insight into her personality using nothing but the items in her grocery.
Now I am filled with all kinds of wisdom. But how do I shell out my rubies of experience to someone I just met? I'd say first comes planning. But not everyone deserves the treasure at the end of the rainbow. First make someone chase the tail. Figuratively. Maybe hop through some hoops to deem them worthiness.
Maybe before I seek a partner in crime, I need to set myself up with a high paying career. OH OH OH. I know... maybe I could be a life-coach. Where do I find a life-long loser with lots of money who seeks advice? Any suggestions?
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