Are we really proud to be Canadian? I'm not. I happy that I grew up in Canada. But pride should come out of some accomplishment that we've achieved. Maybe you lost 20lbs after 5 months at the gym. Or you saved up all your money after you quit smoking and you're going on vacation. This makes sense to be proud. But we have no control over where we are born. And we have no control over our ethnicity, either. So I'm not really understanding this racial pride.

I get it because Black people have overcame so many social obstacles. They got their freedom. Which, well that first day that the American Constitution was signed must have been pretty awkward. All these slave owners wrote and signed a bill that empowered every man, including slaves. Now when they got home, they noticed an entire field of unpicked cotton. Hahaha. Now black people have their own college, television channel, and month. That might be going a little overboard, but I guess all the important white people think it'd be better than always being reminded that their country once had slaves. "God Bless America"?

But it's not like we chose our own skin colour. So why do we choose to label all the other groups of different coloured skinned people, with negative stereotypes? Mexicans are dirty. Blacks all have nappy hair, and bad credit. Native Americans are all casino owners, and drunks. I think these are all social problems, and are bases on individual choices.

I have shitty credit because I've been irresponsible with my credit cards. Now I paid them all off, cut up my cards and pay cash for everything. I don't want to spend money I dont have, on things I don't need. Does this make me a better person? Yes. Because I've seen the light. And I've changed my ways. Except I'm fucked. Because nowadays you need a credit card for everything.

Even hotels, require you need a credit card. And not a pay as you go credit card. They need something with your name on it, and some photo Identification. I understand this is all a way to ensure you're going to be held accountable for everything you do in their room. But what if you're just looking for a place to sleep and shower in the morning? In that case, you'd better find yourself a good cardboard box, and hope it rains in the morning.

I could go into all of my bad habits, but I only have a limited amount of time. I get asked what ethnicity I am all the time. Usually because I'm wearing a suit, and smoking outside of a bar chatting with complete strangers. I would rather not be seen as a representative of my Race, and seen as the individual instead. I know enough about my background I can fill most questions. But until I find a way to tell these fuckers off, in a clever way, that shines my own prespective on the way I see things, I'm going to have to suck it up and be proud of a genetic abnormality, I never had, nor will I ever have any control over.

Anyways, today's getting on without me, and im still in my pyjamas. Take care, and Don't forget to miss me!

Old School V. New Age

How many people have actually seen this clip?  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAK0ESgp8VQ It's Abbott and Costello's "Who's on first?" sketch.  I believe this writing is so clever, it's one of the pieces of iconic comedy.  Now a days, it's a little under-appreciated.  These days all you need to be considered a comedian is a whole lot of dick jokes, jokes about sex, and just obscene jokes about dead baby rape.  Is this even comedy any more?  I understand that the whole idea of seeing a comedy show is purely for entertainment.  To temporarily forget some of your problems, and enjoy a night amongst friends, family and other people with common interests. 

Here's my problem with it... Where is the creativity?  You see comedian after comedian set themselves up for a joke, and then initiate the punchline.  One of my favorite movies of all time is, "Airplaine!".  I find the humour to be so quick, and you really have to pay attention to it.  A lot of the gags are pretty simple.  But when you listen to the wording of each joke, you really have to enjoy and appreciate the intricate writing of each scene. 

For example,

[as the plane prepares to take off]

Hanging Lady: Nervous?
Ted Striker: Yes.
Hanging Lady: First time?
Ted Striker: No, I've been nervous lots of times.
 
or
 
Rumack: You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
Elaine Dickinson: A hospital? What is it?
Rumack: It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.
 
You can google "Airplane!" quotes for more. There aren't too many people who show appreciation towards this sort of quick-witted humour anymore.  Seth Macfarlane references all kinds of past television shows, movies, and songs.  I enjoy watching family guy because I like catching all of these.  I like to think I can appreciate it. 
 
I also enjoy watching, "Three's Company."  Because the humour was part of a different era, but it's all still relatable. Somebody once told me that I was born in the wrong decade because I like older TV shows.  But you don't get the same quality of jokes as you did back in the 70's.  Or earlier.  Can you really blame me?  Why should I watch Canada's next Top Idol?  Or subject myself to watching some dribble about rich people making more money working a high-stress job.  It's all manipulation.  I hate it.  Don't get me started.
 
I tend to stay away from very very obvious jokes.  You just got a vaccuum?  That sucks!  I always look for something else I can make fun of.  I always take the high-ground.  Make people sit and think about my jokes. It keeps people on their feet, and I hope it gets the appreciate it deserves.  If not, then at least make them smile. 
 
Now I can sit here and make a list of people whose careers I follow.  Demitri Martin, Rodney Carrington, Jim Mcaleese, Christopher Titus, Louis C.K., Jimmy Carr, Jon Lajoie, John Pinette.  But I won't go too far into any of them and their careers.  I would like to think some of you could take time out of your schedule and google some of them.  They make me laugh. 
 
I'm not saying that nothing about today's culture makes me smile.  Or that I gloss over everyone today just because of their age.  I'll listen with an open mind, and maybe if I'm bored, I'll google new people.  I just hate the idea of someone getting famous (by today's standards, that ain't hard, just look at Perez Hilton, or Lady Gaga, or Dane Cook, or anyone with a sex video), just by trying to be offensive, out there, or a rip off of someone else.  Just by mentioning them, gives them undeserved credit and I hate it.  If you ignore them, they will go away.  That's what I was taught.  That's why I wouldn't kill any of them.  Because people will only remember them for what the positive stuff they did. 
 
Like Michael Jackson.  Fans came out of the woodwork, when he died.  And just weeks before they were making jokes.  Pedophile.  He's just a little boy, trapped in a mans body.... inside of another little boy.  See?  Funny.  "show some respect".  Ha, somebody told me this just before I dragged them outside and made them dig their own grave.  More on that later. 
 
Basically what I'm saying is that, you can't really appreciate today's culture without a look at our past.  What made us laugh before the internet, cellphones, rearview cameras, wifi, gps, y2k, SARS, vd, hiv, spendi, and auto-erotic asphixiatia.  Because, no matter whats going on with the world, War, Famine, Discrimination, Racism, Religious Persecution, Political Corruption, and the Abusive Relationships, there will alwatys be certain individuals that we can all sit back and enjoy together.  Who have a light hearted spin on the way we see the world, and temporarily bring us all a little closer.  Maybe just for a minute. 
 
Here's something that happened to me last year.  My parents retired and relocated to a little town in Ontario.  So I went visit them for Thanksgiving.  My little rug-rat nephew and I are always getting into trouble.  Being the adult I am "suppose" to be the responsible one.  Hehehe.  My parents are now cutting their own firewood for warmth to save blah blah blah.  So we have a few axes, and hatchets.  I took my nephew out so we could toss a hatchet at a tree for target practice.  We went inside for a drink of water, or some junk, and Gunt (my sister in law), asked what we were up to.  My nephew without thinking told her that I was taking him out to toss an axe at a tree.  She looked at me with the widest eyes ever and said, "Hey!  Les.  That's in you're blood."  So I yelled to my nephew, "Hey, C!  Think you can balance this apple on your head?"
 
So aside from offending me and my native blood, that day, she also lost a son because apparently I'm not William Tell.  Anyways, you take care, and Don't forget to miss me!